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I liked boys who had absolutely no interest in me, and when or if I found out they did have an interest in me, I’d suddenly think they were unattractive.
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I realized I had never had a stable attraction to a boy. “Everything is going really well, but something is missing and you can’t figure out what.”Īnd I thought to myself, ahh, that’s why. “ You have every reason to be happy in your relationship with a man, but you just aren’t.” The master doc, something I only found years later, has since helped answer these questions for me. Why couldn’t I simply give him a kiss? Why couldn’t I mean it when I said I loved him?
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I thought I had intimacy issues because my friends had done way more in much less time with their boyfriends. Soon, he was texting me every day, holding my hand in public, telling me he loved me. Once I told him I liked him, though, it was assumed we had to be together. I decided to tell him I liked him because my friends thought it was a good idea, because he was nice to me, because I thought I owed it to him. I hadn’t had a boyfriend yet, and they assumed I had never experienced a relationship. And so my friends insisted I had to date him. He was nice, and he always texted me asking how my day was. If only I was aware of comphet when I got with my first boyfriend. Thus, comphet hinders gay and lesbian people’s abilities to realize they are not attracted to the opposite sex. I myself use Twitter often (probably more than I should), and once, while doing my routine scrolling, I happened upon the “ Am I a Lesbian Masterdoc ,” a document that circulates on Lesbian Twitter and is known for defining compulsory heterosexuality.Ĭompulsory heterosexuality, or comphet, refers to the compulsive desire to identify as heterosexual despite inner feelings that indicate you are not heterosexual. Twitter can be an unnerving place, but those who use it often do so because of the amount of “relatable” material found there.